


Prince Wears Prada

by EllohriaEllihse, nightflower_panda



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bartender Andrea Rhodes, Bisexual Gladiolus Amicitia, Brotherhood: Final Fantasy XV, Chocobros - Freeform, Clubbing, Co-Written, Crossdressing, Dick Jokes, Dirty Dancing, Idiots in Love, Ignis Scientia in Heels, Ignis Scientia is the Best, Late Night Writing, M/M, Makeover, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Noctis Lucis Caelum in Heels, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Playboy Gladiolus Amicitia, Prompto Argentum is a Little Shit, Prompto Argentum is a Ray of Sunshine, Semi-Public Sex, Stalking, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Underage Drinking, Voice Kink, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:33:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25404673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllohriaEllihse/pseuds/EllohriaEllihse, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightflower_panda/pseuds/nightflower_panda
Summary: Noctis has been crazy in love with his Shield for years now and would do anything to spend at least one night with him... And that includes wearing a dress.Little does he know, Gladio's been nursing a longstanding crush of his own.
Relationships: Gladiolus Amicitia/Noctis Lucis Caelum
Comments: 22
Kudos: 46





	1. The Green-Eyed Monster

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello, and welcome!
> 
> This is the first co-written fic we (nightflower_panda and EllohriaEllihse) have ever done and I (Ello) hope it wouldn't be the last!  
> We talked about this for months now and finally, we're on the roll!  
> Hope you guys enjoy our fic!  
> Much love is very well appreciated!  
> Disclaimer: We sadly do not own the chocobros.

Noctis is jealous… and he doesn’t know until when he can take it anymore. 

He's always known that his Shield is a popular 'chick magnet' from as far back as when he was just fourteen: girls from different schools and even trainees of Glaives would flock to him like damn mosquitos attracted to a bright light, shamelessly trying to get the young Amicitia's attention… But what’s even more annoying than their constant clamouring, the part which gets on Noctis' nerves is the fact that the damn buffoon would always entertain them. 

No matter who it is, he'll return their affections with a charming smile or playful innuendo, knowing full well he can flirt his way both in and out of whoever's bed he desires - leading on those he chooses and smoothly letting down those he doesn't in a way which still leaves them hanging off his every word.

It annoys the fuck out of Noctis to the point at which he acts like a brat and shoots death glares at anyone who dares to approach his idiot... And it doesn’t help that Gladio just looks at him oblivious and confused when he does!

He's not sure if it's just an excuse, but Noctis thinks that if Gladio was just a little less dense then he'd probably have confessed already and saved himself all this heartache - but the fact is that Gladio is just fucking amazing at what he does… 

And that’s confusing the fuck out of him! He must have a degree in Mixed Signals 101! Noctis is frustrated and he just doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings or how best to vent the bubbling jealousy, slowly expanding in his heart every time he hears his Shield has spent the night with yet another lucky girl.

"Um… You sure you're OK there, buddy?" 

"Huh?"

Noctis' thoughts are broken by his friend's question, forcing him to look up from where he's been scowling at his phone. He hasn’t noticed that he's been idiotically staring at a now blank screen: the result of a stupid text message from a certain other idiot.

"No, it's just you've been stuck in that same position for a while," Prompto laughs awkwardly as he eyes his best friend’s hand, "and your fingers were kinda turning white from how hard you were squeezing your phone… I might have heard a crack, you know…" He playfully knocks their arms together. "D'you wanna share if it'll make you feel better?" 

The two friends are at the Prince’s apartment, sitting on the sofa with drinks and snacks in front of them. It's a fine Saturday morning and they're waiting for their other two friends to arrive: with security clearance and all of the other royal protocols checked off, they were given a go-sign two weeks ago to have a one day trip out of Insomnia to a fishing spot which Gladio found online.

To ensure they spend their time wisely, Prompto slept over so they wouldn’t have to pick him up before driving to Duscae. Iggy has created a new recipeh for them to try, in order to make things more special - for sure, he's woken up even earlier than usual to make certain it's at its absolute perfection. But as for his stupid _Gladiolus_ … 

Noctis is flattered that his Shield thought of looking up a new fishing spot for him, but what kind of an idiot let's themself become late when they're the one who suggested to be up early in the first place, let alone be the one who kinda planned the whole thing?!

Noctis sighs, "Yeah, just Gladio - he's running late cos he needs to head home first to get his things… He 'unexpectedly' spent last night at some girl's place."

"...Some girl? Seriously, she doesn't have a name?" Prompto asks, his head slightly tilting to the side.

"Not worth mentioning, meaning it's another one night stand," Noctis shrugs and frowns, finally releasing his phone. He chucks it onto the coffee table, not caring about the loud ‘clack’ it makes against the glass.

"Seriously? What a lucky son of a bitch!" Prompto breathes, half impressed and half envious; how has the big guy scored again when he can't even score a simple date with any of the girls in school?! 

"I know, right?" Noctis scoffs in irritation, tilting his head up to let it rest on the edge of the couch.

Fuck. Might as well just let that green-eyed monster loose. Bottled up emotions ain’t healthy anyways and Noctis feels as if they'll blow up any moment, too much to keep down any longer. Venting to his best friend is by far the better option.

"I mean, there's a healthy sex life - maybe once or twice a week is enough, right? - and then there's Gladio. He’s just waaay above average. How is that shit even normal?" 

"It’s not," Prompto shakes his head in agreement, "It's not normal how often he gets laid, and it's _not_ normal how many different people want to do it with him, either. What even is that??" 

"Right?!" Noctis exclaims as he begins to relax, enjoying the trash talk with Prompto. "It's fucking ridiculous."

"Damn right it is!"

"He needs to learn how to control himself. He's not a fucking animal."

Laughing at that comment, Prompto rolls his eyes, "Just cause he looks like a beast doesn't mean he needs to behave like one, right?!" 

"Exactly… A fucking sexy beast with zero self-awareness,” Noctis complains, not noticing that his filter is now off. “Damn, I wish he knew what it'd be like to be ignored for once," Noctis smirks, liking the sight of his Shield getting rejected. Heck, he’d even have a bucket of popcorn to eat while watching that happen like a good movie.

Prompto laughs softly, missing the first comment completely. "Oh yeah, that'd be good. I'd love to see his advances ignored next time he tries hitting on some poor girl."

"Me too," Noctis huffs as he closes his eyes. He imagines the downcast look his stupid Shield would have, resembling a sad puppy with its ears down. 

Okay, fuck that image. He looks adorable. 

Prompto slumps backwards onto the couch with a sigh, letting himself slouch down into the cushions.

"...Damn if I'm not jealous though. I mean, we both know how hard it is for me to find a girl, let alone date one," Prompto admits with a slight tone of sadness.

"...Yeah," Noctis agrees under his breath. Thinking about Gladio, he knows he lacks the dating material let alone the assets to get the big guy interested. "Me too." 

"Totally unfair, isn't it. Even if they're just one night stands with no real relationship in sight… We just aren't that lucky in that department." 

"Yeah," Noctis murmurs, without a thought mindlessly blurting out, "those girls don't know how lucky they are." 

Blinking, Prompto isn’t sure if it's the earwax in his ears or if his best friend literally just confessed something that he should have known, in the name of their friendship! Clarifying what he's just heard from his clueless friend, he slowly asks, "...You're jealous of… the girls?" 

Prompto’s question makes Noctis’ mind come to a halt as it registers what he's just said, and Noctis silently cusses his mistake. ‘This is what happens when I drop my guard and let myself loose!’ Noctis thinks to himself, deciding not to answer - but the telltale blush beginning to form on his cheeks is answer enough. 

Eyes wide, Prompto tries to open the topic, "...Noct, are you--" 

“Nope.” 

“Hey now, Noct. You're in--”

"Don't."

"Buddy--" 

"Leave it, Prom," Noctis cuts him off one more time using his serious Prince voice.

His blonde friend has figured out something which he thought he would take to his grave, but apparently his mouth doesn’t know when to shut up. Noctis only has himself to blame, but he just doesn’t know how to approach this.

Standing up, the raven haired teen makes it clear that the conversation is over - he didn’t like where it was going, after all - but before he can go far, Prompto catches him by the wrist and yanks him back down to sitting on the couch.

Before the princeling can say anything, Prompto pulls him into a tight bear hug with his head on his shoulder. Gasping softly from the action, Noctis’ body goes rigid as he doesn't know what to say.

"Noct, it’s okay… It's fine," Prompto whispers reassuringly in his ear, holding him tight until he feels the tenseness in his muscles begin to fade, and the raven haired youth allows his head to drop forwards onto Prompto's shoulder.

"...You're not… freaked out?" Noctis manages to mumble his insecurity while he slowly settles his anxious breath.

"Nah, it's cool," Prompto replies calmly, “and even if I was, it'd never be enough to just leave you. I've got your back, man. Now and always. You’re still my bestie, Noctis." 

Noctis doesn’t know what to say - he was completely unprepared for such a heart-to-heart talk. He isn’t entirely sure where to take it next: he'd just been complaining about his idiot of a Shield, after all. But one thing comes to mind.

His cheeks slightly flushed, he mumbles, “Thanks Prom… I've got your back, too.” 

They stay huddled together in a comfortable silence, savoring the moment for a short while longer. It kind of feels like a breakthrough in their friendship.

Before his courage disappears, Noctis leans back to look at his best friend with vulnerable, naked blue eyes, voicing out loud and clear what he's been wishing for:

"...I wanna be the one Gladio's sleeping with."

Prompto's eyebrows raise a little and his mouth falls slightly apart - he didn’t think Noctis would say it right off the bat like that! But with a cheeky smile tugging at his lips, he gives the Prince's shoulders a gentle squeeze. He reassures him, "I'm here for you, man, I promise. We’ll think of something to make him interested in you. But, you know…”

"What?" Noctis asks with his eyebrow raised. 

Smirking, Prompto adds, “It doesn’t mean I can't tease you about it, right??”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Dude, come on!” Prompto laughs, “You’ve been training with him! So, you know…” his eyebrows wag up and down, “with all those muscles and a body that big… you think he's big 'down there' to match? Or was copping an eyeful in the changing rooms what got you interested in the first place?”

“Prompto, what the fuck!?” Noctis shouts out, embarrassed. His cheeks are blushing furiously and he feels his neck getting red. Seriously! And he thought that Prompto was the innocent one here!

Laughing his ass off hard, Prompto clutches his stomach with tears in the corners of his eyes. If only Noctis could see himself now! Dammit, he wishes he had his camera to take a picture of this moment!

“Don’t forget to give me the juicy deets later then!”

"In your dreams, you pervert!!”

  
  
  


\-----------

  
  
  


Slightly flustered and irritated, Gladio is back home. He gives Jared and Dustin a quick pleasantry nod before taking two steps at a time up the spiral staircase, rushing to his room to prepare the things he needs. Remembering the mental checklist he made on his way back, he hurriedly stuffs his bags with things deemed to be necessary for today’s fishing trip.

Before taking out a pair of camping chairs, he quickly checks his phone for any unread messages. Nothing. Lightly tossing the cell onto his bed, he knows he's in deeper shit than he seemed to be when he'd messaged Noctis that he'd be late. He hopes that he'll somehow be saved by the Astrals today, but the fact that his message was marked as read yet with no reply in return, he knows he has to get to His Highness’ place as soon as possible.

Adding a new item to the checklist to bring two coolers - one for the fish and the other for cool drinks - he runs a hand backwards through his hair and notices it feels somewhat gross. Glancing across to the mirror, Gladio belatedly realises he hasn't even taken a shower nor changed clothes before he left for the club last night. It makes the young Shield regret that decision even more, letting out a loud sigh in frustration as he strips off on the way to the bathroom. 

In all honesty, he hadn't meant to go out last night. They had planned this fishing trip two weeks ago together with Prompto and Ignis, thinking that it was a good way to loosen up and relieve stress after school exams and royal training. He remembers seeing how Noctis’ ears perked up upon hearing the words ‘new fishing spot’ come from his lips. He knew it was the perfect de-stressing activity for him, but after Noctis' display at training yesterday…

It was either hit up the club and find a partner in an attempt to get him out of his mind, or do an all-nighter jerking off to the memory - which really wouldn't be helping anything in the long run.

‘Fuck hormones and that cute ass…’ Gladio thinks as he remembers yesterday’s training.

It's their usual late afternoon meet up after school and their training is getting more intense by the second. After learning how to warp and practicing higher leaps, Noctis is hyped up to try out what he's learned for the first time while sparring.

Gladio isn’t stupid and he knows he's somewhat at a disadvantage when it comes to speed and use of multiple weaponry, especially during close combat… And based on the look on the raven prince’s face, it's obvious he wants to beat him during the first time he’ll be warping.

“Tch, give it ten thousand more years, you brat,” Gladio taunts, working Noctis up and encouraging him not to hold back from warping seriously - if they're going to do it, then they'd better better damn well do it properly. 

Smirking, Gladio looks at his prince from the other side of the training hall, who has brought his hundred percent A-game with him. Once again, he holds a strong stance with his sword in his right hand; his blue eyes reflect a series of emotions, serious and determined. Noctis has refused to tap out yet, even while nearly out of breath and having been swiped off his feet more than twice now.

‘And that just makes him that much more cute and alluring,’ Gladio thinks to himself.

He immediately puts his greatsword up, seeing a flash of blue warp traces zigzag in a rush to meet him in a close frontal attack.

A series of loud clashes, quick and strong, can be heard inside the hall as Noctis relentlessly attacks his Shield, trying to break his defense. Pushing his limits, Noctis grunts at every slash and strike he lands, making the other continuously block and evade.

Noctis grits his teeth in frustration as he notices how fluid his Shield’s motions are. Even after learning how to warp, his Shield still has the upper hand on him! It's impressive, sure, and somewhat comforting that this is the guy sworn to protect him - but Noctis doesn't want to end it this way. He wants to end it by having this oblivious, idiotic, handsome, fucking Gladiolus Amicitia be put in his place… and that’s under him!

Throwing a swift wide arc from the right, Noctis swears internally as he realizes his mistake. Leaving his left side open, he puts his left arm in front to defend himself from getting hit on his core, but instead he feels a hand grip around his forearm. Gasping loudly, his eyes widen and next thing he knows his back is on the ground.

Breathing heavily, both swords fading into the air and returning to the armiger, Gladio’s hands pin Noct by his wrists to hold him firmly in place on the floor. 

Gladio is straddling him, and it doesn't register how provocative their position is until Noctis grunts, angrily flicking his sweat laced fringe out of his eyes and bucking his hips a little pathetically under Gladio's hulking mass. Flushed and disheveled, the older man only just notices exactly how damn sexy his prince is beneath him... And then the brat goes and licks his lips, flashing his teeth in a seductive snarl as he writhes against Gladio's grip once more. 

‘For fuck's sake, is this how he'd look like when… No, stop, Gladio. Don’t even start.’

And after that moment, Gladio can’t remove that image from his head. He feigns indifference and professionalism all throughout their last few minutes of training, but the end of the session can't come soon enough. Even after a long cold shower and two consecutive times of jacking off while under that said shower, he knows what he has to do.

Gladio chooses to sleep around, yet again.

It's become the usual pattern for him at this point in an attempt to remove the Prince from his mind. He'll hit up one of the famous nightclubs in Insomnia, find a partner for the night and let out his sexual frustrations through a one night stand. It should have been under his control, but as Noctis gets older things aren't becoming easier. As the princeling begins to refine his muscles, growing physically to match his growing cocky attitude, Gladio finds his nighttime excursions slowly increasing, too… 

Thank Eos that he already has a reputation for being a flirt so Gladio isn't worried about people labeling him a playboy too. Although, even he has to admit the frequency at which he's going out lately is a little worrying.

Another concern is his recent choice of partners. It didn’t escape him that the girls he picks have slowly started gravitating towards a certain type -- petite, blue eyed, pale skinned and dark haired, preferably cut short… Which is ridiculous! It goes against what he thinks should be his personal policy - but it just seems like he can't help himself. 

His subconscious knows what it wants.

Years ago, Gladio once slept with a guy. His thought process had been, ‘If I can't have Noctis, then why not try replacing him with another guy?’ But after that one night stand, he found it to actually be dangerous - because after having another man beneath him with similar features to his liege, his fantasies of the Prince just became even more realistic! 

After that one time thing, Gladio has made it a policy since not to cross that line anymore - that personal policy - even though there's one thing he's sure of: he's definitely bisexual.

With his sexuality being somewhat of a convenience for him, he vows to himself to keep his sex life ‘strictly-girls-only’ until he's completely over his crush on the Prince. For Gladio, it is absolutely necessary or he'll just end up imagining completely inappropriate things at completely appropriate times over and over again. 

Indeed, the sooner he can forget about Noctis in _that_ way, the better. After all, it’s not like he has a chance in hell of living a happily-ever-after love story with the Crown Prince of Lucis himself.

That’s only reserved for the romantic novels he reads.

Gladio arrives at Noctis' apartment and knocks loudly, waiting to be let in. He's expecting the younger man to be in a bad mood: it's bad enough he's late, but to be late to escort him out of town to the much anticipated new fishing spot just makes it that much worse.

Prompto is the one who answers the door and Gladio figures it's a sign of the Prince's sulking.

"Hey, big guy! Nice of you to join us!" the blonde teen beams as he steps aside to let the late Shield enter.

"Hey," Gladio steps inside with a grunt, hauling his luggage in with him. "Iggy here yet?" he asks, looking around to check what the two teens have been up to.

"Yeah, he's just downstairs getting the car ready," Prompto follows behind. "He's not too impressed we're no longer guaranteed to miss the traffic now, you know."

"It's OK, I'll handle him," Gladio frowns, dumping his things and making a beeline towards Noctis who is still slouching on the sofa.

"Ready to go, Princess?"

Noctis looks up from his phone long enough to give his Shield a quick once over, immediately noticing the fresh love bite bruising shamelessly at the base of his neck. He scowls, pushing himself up and past the other man without a backward glance.

"I was ready _ages_ ago," he lashes out, not caring how bratty he sounds. Part of it is also a cover for the remnants of embarrassment lingering after his confession of feelings to Prompto. 

The blonde shrugs his shoulders with a sympathetic smile at Gladio before following their Prince out the door, "Wait up, Noct! We gotta take the stuff Gladio brought down with us!" 

Noctis throws his keys over his shoulder for Prompto to clumsily catch, "Leave it. He'll carry it himself. After all, he brought it up here himself, didn't he? Get him to lock up, too."

Gladio sighs, rubbing at the back of his head as Prompto stands flailing in the doorway, gaze torn between his two friends. He knew he was in trouble, he just didn’t think it was this bad. 

"It's fine, Prom. You follow His Majesty down and I'll follow the royal orders," Gladio waves the blonde away as he starts gathering up the luggage again.

Sighing loudly for the nth time, he thinks that this is OK, he can deal with Noctis being a little mad. Better serve him in silence than have a full blown argument… And besides, Gladio has to admit it's kind of a turn on when Noctis gets all authoritative like this.

  
  
  


\----------

  
  
  


They drive to Neeglyss Towerfront with the top down. The cool wind breezing through their hair and the open road become the perfect antidote to any frustrations from earlier on. Fortunately, Ignis' worries don't come to pass and they have a traffic-free journey, getting to their destination in just over an hour. Ignis drives their way to Duscae with Gladio beside him while the two youngest members of their party huddle together in the backseat, teasing and chatting with each other.

In all honesty, Gladio is disappointed. It’s always been a staple that Gladio sits beside Noctis. Aside from the fact his legs get a little cramped while sitting up front, being beside him means he can keep an eye on the brat more easily. If something happens, he is within an arm's reach to protect his liege - just the way he likes it.

Instead, Prompto and Noctis have chosen to sit beside each other, as if they're glued together by the hip after spending all night together already. Knowing that his grumbling can't do anything about it, Gladio tries to settle himself by pulling out a novel as a distraction.

Sensing the slightly strained atmosphere, Ignis switches on the radio to some kind of lighthearted pop song. With the top down and the sound of the wind mixing with the hum of the engine, Gladio finds he can't hear what the two behind are discussing even if he wants to.

"Hey, Noct, I just had this crazy idea!” Prompto whispers excitedly, pulling Noctis closer by the arm.

Noctis just looks at his friend questioningly, his expression looking as if to say, "What is it this time??"

“Okay, so to put it simply…” Prompto breathes in deeply and grins, imagining there’s the sound of a drum roll in the background -- “What if we dress you up as a girl?”

"What?!" Noctis bursts out. "Are you _actually_ crazy?!" 

Prompto cackles loud enough to get Gladio's attention, and the Shield sneaks a glance in the car's rear view mirror to see Noctis slap the other teen on the shoulder. Prompto leans forwards even more with a big grin and brushes the hair away from where it frames the Prince's face. 

Watching them closer, he notices Prompto say something else which makes Noctis look a little red in the cheeks - it's hard to tell from where Gladio's sitting. But as soon as he sees his blonde friend run his fingers down Noctis' cheeks, and along his jawline with a smirk, Gladio's chest feels a little tight. Noctis' mouth parts a little into a delicious looking pout as a result of Prompto's touches and Gladio finally forces himself to snap his gaze away again. 

‘Are those two… flirting?’ Gladio gulps, unable to focus on his book anymore. The burning jealousy weighing down his chest is just too heavy to ignore.

Prompto laughs again, the loud peal cutting through the noise of the car engine, and Gladio looks around this time to see Noctis undeniably pink. The Prince looks up at Gladio through his bangs. Frowning and looking entirely too sexy - especially with the splash of bright red blush on his cheeks - he thinks that there’s nothing to explain. Mercifully, Prompto leans forward between them with his hands pressed together in apology: "Sorry, sorry! Didn't mean to disturb your reading!" 

"...It's fine," Gladio grunts out, turning back around again. He's not entirely sure what to make of the situation, aside from the fact Noctis is looking damn attractive as a result of whatever Prompto's saying to him.

"Prom, cut it out," Noctis hisses softly, shoving lightly against his friend. He’s just glad that Gladio's attention is off him again.

"No, I'm serious!" Prompto insists through his hushed giggles. "You're androgynous looking enough to pull it off and actually... I think you'd look pretty hot doing it."

Noctis hangs his head in his hands and ruffles his fingers over his scalp, mumbling something unintelligible. 

"Come on! I bet the big guy doesn't even have a type and he just hits on anything with legs! I mean, how can he be picky with the number of one night stands he's had! All you have to do is to show up looking pretty, get him to admit he finds you cute and ta dah!" Prompto finishes with a triumphant grin and jazz hands. "You reel him in, hook, line and sinker!" 

Noctis groans, still blushing, turning his head up to look at Prompto again. "First off, don't think using fishing metaphors will make me hate your plan any less. Secondly, you're ridiculous. It'd never work. And..." Noctis waves his hands in the air, searching for what to say next. 

"Look, just think about it," Prompto cuts him off with a grin, patting the Prince on the back. "I learned a bit about make up when I did that portrait photography class, so I've got that part covered! Just say the word and I'll be there, ready to doll you up! You'll look totally amazing," he ends with a playful wink.

Thinking it over, Noctis peeks across to where Gladio is in front of him, one eyebrow quirked as he studies the pages of his novel. How is it fair the damn idiot can be built like a behemoth, all muscle and brawn, but also be so damn intellectual? And on top of it all, impossibly hot, too!

But seriously… Would crossdressing really work to peak his attention? It's a crazy idea but… Well, Noctis can't deny his crush on Gladio isn't also kind of crazy, considering the amount of time he's had it. 

Not a crush really, he supposes he can admit he's actually in love. And well… people do crazy things when they're in love, don't they?


	2. I Need Information!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I need Information!'
> 
> That's what Noctis thought. He really thought that it was going to be easy, since it's just shadowing the Big Guy.
> 
> Apparently, he bit more than he can chew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, that Andrea. *wink wink*
> 
> Disclaimer: We don't own Andrea either!

‘I can’t believe I’m doing this,’ Noctis thinks to himself as he watches his Shield sitting near the train’s door in the next carriage over. Leaning against the door frame, he subtly takes a quick glance at where Gladio's looking at his phone: head down, legs half crossed with one ankle up upon the other leg's knee, and dressed up entirely too hot. 

Eyeing the man from afar, Noctis can't help but lick his lips at how damn fuckable his Shield is. It’s the first time he's seen his Shield properly all gussied up, and it makes him feel like he's falling in love with the guy all over again.

Decked out in all-black attire Gladio doesn't need to go overboard, taking full advantage of the ladykiller assets he has to show off. Tight leather pants cling enticingly to his thighs, smartly tucked into heavy laced high-ankle combat boots. His V-neck shirt leaves little to the imagination - moulded flush against his well-trained physique - its short sleeves displaying the tattoos trailing down to his forearms, only adding to his badass charm. Gladio's accessories show his attention to detail, well aware of how they effortlessly accentuate his look. He has his signature long necklace dangling from his neck and a couple of three-inch wide black leather wristbands bound around each wrist.

Honestly, with just the look his Shield is pulling off right now, Noctis once again swears at how fucking lucky those girls are. Gladio practically embodies the total package of the perfect man to date and fall in love with. He isn’t just a handsome guy; although not obvious at first glance, he's also smart, caring, protective, sweet, adorable, thoughtful…

Noctis shakes his head. For fuck's sake, lay off the adjectives, why doesn't he! Noctis is swooning already and he hasn’t even seen the guy in action yet! 

“We are now arriving at Downtown Insomnia. Downtown Insomnia. The door on the left will open. Please do not forget your belongings in the train."

Gladio stands and slips his phone inside his pocket (ugh, how does it even _fit_ in there with how sinfully tight those pants are?!) and Noctis discreetly follows him off the train.

Prompto's suggestion has been swimming around Noctis' mind ever since their fishing trip out of the city, but he's yet to do anything about it. The more he thinks about it, the more he thinks it might actually work - but the part holding him back is whether or not Gladio actually has a specific type or not… What if all the women he goes for are long legged, long haired blondes with huge chests? Because Noctis is pretty sure no amount of cross dressing could put him in a category to compete with _that_. But then again, what if Prompto's right and Gladio really is just as flippant as he seems… Maybe Noct would have a chance then. 

What it all boils down to is the need for more information - and despite how close they are, that's not a conversation Noctis can see himself starting and getting an honest answer out of his Shield. Even worse, he might even be expected to give up some information of his own, and Noctis knows full well he's not the best of liars. 

So that brings him to here, stalking Gladio as he hits up another club late at night - obviously there for one thing only.

Noctis has noticed that after particularly intense sparring sessions together, those are the times the big guy tends to, more often than not, have chalked up another lay by the next morning. Noctis is pretty sure it's a result of him making Gladio frustrated - maybe his failing technique or just not being damn good enough - though it's kind of painful to think Gladio's sleeping around could be a result of Noctis himself. Ironically, he'd put more into today's session as a result of these thoughts (sweating and panting and even more fiercely out of breath by the end as usual) but all his efforts seemed to do were rile up his Shield even further… So by the end of it, Noct was almost certain the guy would be heading out tonight. 

Keeping his distance, Noctis shadows the larger man through the late night crowds towards the entrance to a club called Scarlet Eclipse, its bright and scripted sign hanging proudly just above its entrance. Taking a good look at the joint, he has read about this place. One of the biggest Insomnian clubs, it is noted for its top quality customer service, selection of drinks, and tight discretion on who comes in and out of the club. 

Based upon its exterior, the club has two floors - the tinted one-way windows giving it an alluring edge. From the ground up, the club’s windows start their color from black and slowly fade to hues of blood red to scarlet. From afar, the building looks like it's glowing as the lights from inside blend with the brilliant red spectrum. It’s as if the club’s on fire. It attracts a crowd, its imposing presence difficult to ignore even to people who're just passing by.

Noct is in awe. It's his first time to see such a long queue in front of an establishment, and due to his privilege he has never experienced such things. Expecting that Gladio will fall in line, the Prince's face changes to utter shock when he sees him go straight up to the entrance, nod a greeting at the bouncer, and go inside without a hitch.

‘Motherfucker. No wonder he gets girls every night,’ Noctis thinks to himself, facepalming at what he's just witnessed. He should have known really: he’s a regular. He must have memorized every employee’s name there, down to the janitor, and be in good graces with the manager who can probably hook him up with a private room on the spot!

Rolling his eyes, he hisses, “Tch, wouldn’t be surprised if this is where you even do your one night stands, Gladio…” Looking around from across the street, Noct murmurs to himself, “So how am I going to do this?” He chews his lower lip as he thinks of a game plan on how to get into the vicinity and shadow the other man.

Regrettably, only one thing comes to mind. It's not something he's a fan of doing, but… Desperate times call for desperate measures. If you've got it, flaunt it.

Pulling the high necked collar of his shirt a little taller around his jawline, Noctis adjusts his baseball cap to better cover his face and marches straight to the front of the queue.

One of the bouncers smirks as Noctis approaches, folding his arms and making his biceps bulge.

"Move along, kid." He shifts his weight, making himself look quietly threatening. "You wanna try coming back in a couple of years, yeah?"

Humming, Noct keeps his head down, though his voice rings clear with a sense of authority from beneath the brim of his cap. 

“No, I think now is fine… And I’ll just go right in. Thank you very much.”

The bouncer laughs, nodding to his partner to keep an eye on the line while he deals with this disturbance.

"Not sure what planet you think you're on, but we don't let _kids_ into an establishment like ours. And definitely not kids dressed like you," the bouncer gestures with his hand. "Hats aren't welcome - we've got a reputation here, you know."

Standing beside the bouncer with his back facing the line, obscuring his front from where the people in the queue may be eyeing him, Noctis slightly raises his head.

“I've actually got a bit of a reputation myself," Noctis lifts his cap just enough to show a glimpse of his face, "and I think… you’ll make an exception for me.”

His bright blue glare upon the man, the bouncer’s eyes widen as he processes who exactly is standing in front of him. “Pri--”

“Don’t make this into any bigger of a scene,” Noctis cuts him off firmly, giving the man a bundle of cash along with a feral, authoritative grin. "Say a word that I was here, and I’ll have you for treason. I’m just here to tail a certain someone.”

The bouncer, gulping in slight fear and awe, knew who he was talking about. After all, the young Amicitia is a regular. Just experiencing this, it's no wonder the guy's often stressed and on his toes when visiting - rumours of his frustrations with the Crown Prince are rife among the staff. The Prince, it's clear, can be a charming little daredevil. 

Not wishing to delay royalty any further, the bouncer says in full confidence, “Welcome to Scarlet Eclipse, Sir. If you need anything, please look for Andrea at the bar.”

Smirking, Noct nods and fixes his cap lower once more. "Thanks, dude. I’ll be sure to have fun.”

Once he steps inside the club, his mind stops working. His eyes wandering, he feels like he's been transported to some other dimension. Looking around, he takes in what he sees. Loud techno dance music is being played by a DJ, whose multi-level dance floors are full of ladies and gents, partying their hearts out. Flashes of bright neon lights flood the dim lit club up until the glass ceiling, towards the night sky. Girls in their club tuxedo attire and heels walk around, serving a huge variety of intoxicating drinks to customers, laughing and drinking as if they have no limits.

Culture shocked, Noct feels like he may be way underdressed, quite possibly sticking out as fresh meat in the joint. Keeping his head down and fixing his cap, he tries to ignore the crowds grinding around him while his eyes search for his Shield. It's no wonder that Gladio is even dressed up that good. People here are just too flashy to look at – what in the Astrals?!

How can Gladio get a girl that fast!??

At the far end of the bar, Noct can see Gladio sitting on a black velvet U-shaped couch, drinking a bottle of beer with a girl on his side. His eyes start to glow red. The girl is _too close_ to the point that he can see her breasts pressed against Gladio's side real well. 

Noctis tears his eyes away long enough to force himself over to the bar. He hadn't planned on drinking anything tonight, but he feels like if he doesn't have just one to take the edge off he might actually vomit from jealousy. Which is stupid, because the plan from the beginning was to observe the kind of girls his Shield was interested in getting hot and heavy with - so, obviously, he _should_ have been prepared for the things he was seeing unfold in front of him! But thinking about it as a concept and seeing it actually happen in real life are two completely different things.

He orders a shot from the bartender closest to him, thinking its small size means it's a good choice of drink for someone not used to alcohol like himself. Having not tasted vodka before, he sips cautiously at the edge… and immediately splutters at the strong taste. Wow. The vodka burns his throat and Noctis struggles to keep from choking, eyes already threatening to water just from the barest mouthful; how on Eos is he meant to drink the whole thing, even if it _is_ tiny?! 

Noctis turns his attention back to where he last saw Gladio, subtly trying to get some air on his tongue as he scans the packed floor. Is that his Shield in the corner now? But with a different girl from before? When did _that_ happen?

This new girl is dressed just as provocatively but has black hair, not brown... He can't see her face, as she's busy pawing her dirty hands over _his_ Shield's chest, leaning forward to say something in his ear - sure, the music's loud, but is it really necessary to get _that_ close? - but from the way Gladio isn't pushing her away, he gets the feeling she must be attractive.

How annoying.

“I see that I have found the little mouse.”

Turning his head, Noctis raises his eyebrow, “A mouse, you say?" The ugly feeling in his chest spills out into his words, cutting them sharp. "Be careful who you’re talking to now.”

A different bartender from before stands in front of him. He's well-groomed and slender, wearing all-black pants and a matching black buttoned down long sleeve shirt with a golden tie.

“Ah, a cheeky little mouse then," the bartender chuckles. "I heard from Ed who’s up here and I just needed to see it with my own eyes.”

Looking at the Prince’s glass, still barely touched, he smirks, “Why don't you allow me to whip you up a drink better suited to yourself? On the house. I’m thinking you’re more of a sweet and strong kind of guy.” 

Humming softly, Noctis feels the tension slowly ebb away at the older man's calming purr. He lets his arm rest on the bar table and gives the bartender a quick once over with his eyes. “...I’m guessing you’re Andrea.”

“Your bartender and tonight’s manager. At your service," Andrea winks, already moving to gather the ingredients for Noctis' cocktail.

“So tell me… How long have you been working here, Andrea?”

“Me? Oh, a _very_ long time. I practically know which cocktails are best-selling on which days of the week.”

“Hmm…” Looking over his shoulder to where Gladio is, Noctis can't stop himself from tutting. He is appalled at how fast Gladio works around the floor: now he's entertaining two girls at once, making it the third and fourth girls for the night!

Rolling his eyes, he asks the bartender, “I don't suppose you happen to know all your regular customers and VIPs off the top of your head?”

Smirking, Andrea motions for the other bartender to take over the area as he leans forward just enough for Noctis to hear him whisper, “Yes, I do, pretty boy. I shouldn’t really share this information, but for you…” winking at the teen, he puts the drink in between them both – “I will make an exception. After all, you are the law.”

Grinning, Noct looks at the red cocktail with a slice of orange hanging off the side. Taking his time to sip his new drink, he nods in approval while looking at Andrea, an upward curl on the corner of his lips. “I like this. What’s this called?”

He takes another sip, more akin to a gulp this time.

With a hand cupping his cheek and resting on the counter, the bartender answers in delight, “Why, that’s Andrea’s specialty. It’s called the 'Scarlet Tequila'. I only serve this to the most _interesting_ of people.”

“Well, what can I say…” Noct grins a little more loosely, putting his index finger on the rim of the now empty cocktail glass and tracing it around, “I would like another one, thank you very much.”

Smiling broadly, Andrea straightens up and takes the glass from in front of the Prince. “Anything else?”

“Yes, actually…” Tilting his head towards Gladio, Noctis keeps his gaze fixed on the older man. He quietly asks, “I'd like you to tell me about that big guy over there - the one with the long beaded necklace and cross pendant - who's been going around the floor as if he owns the place.”

"Ah, yes…" Andrea smirks knowingly, mixing up another cocktail. "One of our more generous regulars - generous with both his tab at the bar and with his time for our… female patrons."

Noctis shifts a little uncomfortably, eyeing up the red liquid now being poured into his glass, thinking it can't be completed fast enough.

"Does he um… get a lot of 'female patrons' then?" Noctis swallows down his jealousy, grateful when Andrea finally slides his full glass back over.

"Why, yes. He is _quite_ the specimen after all. A lot of women are just like putty in his hands.” the bartender quirks his eyebrow. With a playful glint in his eye, he once again leans on the counter and continues, “But if you've been in the business for quite some time, you know that he isn’t picking just anyone. He’s on the hunt for someone with certain _specifics_. It may be subtle to everyone else, but for us…" Andrea shrugs, "It's as broad as daylight.”

“Oh yeah?” Noctis takes a quick glance at his Shield, who’s now talking to a girl wearing a skimpy midnight blue dress and black stilettos. He thinks of the women whom he has seen so far. “I don’t notice anything at all.”

“It’s the subtle features you need to look out for. Their pale complexion for one, though quite possibly difficult to notice in this lighting… Or take their height, for another - our exquisite man over there doesn't appear too picky on that front, does he?”

Blinking, Noct recalls the women that night so far. Upon reflection he notices Andrea is correct, all the girls have had fairly light skin tones, and it's difficult to tell as some of the time they've been sitting, but… “Yeah, their heights are all over the place.”

“But see here,” Andrea subtly tilts his head towards where Gladio is now flirting with a woman who has dark hair -- “her height is only until his shoulders despite the heels. He will never entertain anyone taller. And yes, the women he talks to are fair skinned - but the color of their hair has to be dark. Not blonde, light brunettes, coloured, nor even with streaks. He's been hunting the same kind of women for quite some time and yet no one here seems to notice it - it's really quite adorable.”

Noct’s mouth agape, this bartender just practically told him what he needed to hear. Not only that, his information is priceless! It makes him think that this Andrea of Scarlet Eclipse might have made a great informant and spy for the Citadel too!

Coughing a bit from his lack of table manners, Noct takes another large sip from his second Scarlet Tequila, feeling a lot more relaxed around the older man. “Why would you say that?”

“Because there’s one major feature that he’s looking for. Once you have that feature, darling, he’s taking you home.”

His eyes studying Andrea, Noctis' attention is full on the informative bartender. He asks softly, anxious excitement pulling at his chest, “...What’s the catch then?”

Andrea whispers, loud enough only for Noct to hear, “He has a weakness, a _huge_ weakness, for women who have aquatic colored eyes. Particularly blue going to near gray. If he sees a woman with that, despite the lack of major favorable traits, he'll undoubtedly take her out.”

Chuckling softly, Andrea pulls back while looking at Noct's surprised expression. “You actually…” he looks the Prince over with a soft smirk, “you would have fit the bill perfectly.”

Noctis looks away again at the teasing hum, unable to maintain eye contact any longer. He feels a little breathless. _He's_ Gladio's exact type? He hurriedly scans the dance floor for his Shield - who is he with now?

Shorter than Gladio, even in heels, cropped black hair and porcelain-like skin which reflects the club's flashing lights. He can't see her eyes but… Wait, what's happening now? 

Gladio seems to be on the move, slipping a large hand around the girl's waist and leading her towards the exit. It looks like she's the lucky chosen one for tonight.

Noctis' excitement comes crashing down again as he remembers his reason for coming out in the first place.

Fuck.

If Gladio's about to leave then Noctis doesn't have any more reason to stay put either. He's got what he came for, after all. It sucked needing to witness it, but on the plus side Noct now has the confidence he's in with a chance… After he lets Prompto dress him up a little, that is.

"Thanks, Andrea," Noctis remembers his manners before leaving, draining his glass and pressing a handsome tip into the older man's hands. "Maybe I'll see you around."

“Oh no, pretty boy,” Andrea flirtatiously winks as he accepts the tip, “It is _my_ pleasure entirely. Next time you’re here, tell them you’re my special guest, darling.”

Noctis makes his way out of the club, pulling at his collar as he pushes his way through the throngs of people. He's only just realising now how warm he is and the music's heavy bass begins to feel like it's beating directly into his chest, making his whole body throb.

He stumbles out into the night air, grateful for the cool breeze against his skin, gulping it in as if he's emerging from a swimming pool rather than a nightclub. Actually, Noctis thinks he might be feeling slightly tipsy.

Fuck. And he'd only had three-- no, two and a half drinks! Not even that!

Noctis blinks, rubbing at his eyes. Gladio is no doubt long gone, doing whatever it is he's doing with that girl ( _don't_ think about it, dammit) so there's no rush to hurry anywhere. Looking up, Noctis spots an alleyway down the side of the club. It looks like a discreet enough place to calm down and make sure his head is on straight enough before heading home.

Glancing around to make sure no-one is watching, Noctis slips into the alleyway. It's long and empty aside from a few stacks of wooden crates, cardboard boxes and a dumpster further down; although messy with things the area isn't dirty, whoever looks after the club must also be in charge of making sure the area around is well maintained, too. 

Noctis steps around the first pile of boxes so he's standing in a little alcove in between them and the stacks of crates beside, hidden from view. It wouldn't do for anyone to recognise him now and wonder why the Prince is alone and quite possibly drunk outside a club so late at night.

He closes his eyes and leans against the brick, exhaling softly, letting himself enjoy the heady buzz of alcohol. Once the feeling settles a little more, he'll make a move. Until then, he'll just relax and take in the sounds of the Insomnian nightlife he's not really experienced before: the echoing bass leaking out from the club, the chatter and laughter of people on the streets, the deep grunts and higher pitched giggles from the other side of the crates… 

Wait, what?

Noctis opens his eyes again, cheeks beginning to flush, and he's unsure if it's from embarrassment or from the alcohol. What kind of kinky freaks would be getting busy in an alleyway?!

His judgement clouded, Noctis decides to see if he can see what this couple looks like by peeking through any of the slats between the crates. There are two piles of crates stacked beside each other, so he needs to find if there's anywhere their slats line up… The view is pretty much blocked out, but if he presses his head against the wall, Noctis notices there's a big enough gap for him to catch a glimpse through.

…Yeah. There's a guy and a girl there. Noctis can't see who they are, just enough to make out their midriffs and not their faces, but the guy's dressed all in black. He's muscular, from the size of his arms, and now that he sweeps his hand lower down the girl's body Noctis sees that he has the trailing tendrils of a dark tattoo along his skin, too. 

"Mmm, you like that?" the man growls, deep and breathy, and Noctis recognises the voice at once.

Well, for the love of Shiva and Ifrit.

Seriously? Here, in public? In an alleyway? Where’s the sense of privacy? 

“Aa-h, more,” the woman wantonly moans as her hands land on Gladio's belt. Noctis can hear the clink of metal and sliding of leather as it's unbuckled.

“Straight to the point, just the way I like it,” Gladio grunts, letting his partner unbutton his pants. He kneads her ass with one hand while his other strokes up her naked inner thigh -- "Here, open your legs a little wider," Gladio purrs in a voice dirty enough to make Noct shiver.

He barely manages to hold himself back from clicking his tongue at the girl's reply - her breathy high pitched moan interfering with Gladio's gloriously deep murmurs.

"You're touching there already?" the girl half complains. "Aren't you going to kiss me first?" 

"You don't seem like you need it. You're this damn wet just from looking at me."

Noctis can hear the smirk dripping from his Shield's words and, in all honesty, he can kind of understand why - his pants are beginning to feel uncomfortably tight too as the material starts to tent over his growing erection.

"Brace yourself against the wall for me - you're gonna need the support," Noctis hears Gladio growl, and while trying to stop himself from gasping at the seductive rumble he finds himself obeying - even if the words aren't meant for him.

In his alcohol-fogged mind, Noctis can almost imagine as if they are.

Noctis presses his back against the brick, breath shallow as his hands are drawn down to the bulge in his pants - lingering hesitantly over the top, his cheeks flushing redder at each of his Shield's coaxing hums.

"That's it, I've got you," Gladio murmurs. "Look at you. You're begging for it, aren't you - you can't wait. You're so fucking desperate." His voice is deep and measured despite his words being so aggressive.

Is this how Gladio will be when it’s them? If so, he fucking approves. It's almost unbearably hot. He'd definitely be moaning for more, asking his Shield to just fucking take him already, beg for him to cum inside then repeat the process all over again.

"Listen to those noises… _Fuck_. You can't hide how much you want me."

Fuck it. 

Noctis can't hold back anymore either, his hands fumbling clumsily at his pants to finally release his straining cock into the cool night air.

"Just one finger inside and you're already thrusting back," Gladio chuckles and Noctis imagines that it's him pressed up against his Shield's hulking mass, his legs spread wide as Gladio stretches him out.

Noctis' palm rubs needily around his length as Gladio purrs in his ear, "You're so fucking wet, you _slut_ ," and the Prince feels the precum begin to leak onto his hand. 

Yes, he _is_ fucking wet and maybe he _is_ a dirty slut, too.

He can hear the lewd squelches as Gladio's fingers work deeper and Noctis almost chokes at how good it must feel, pumping at himself rougher.

"Open your eyes," Gladio commands and Noctis blearily does as he's told, unfocused as he continues to thrust into his palm. 

"Mmm…" Gladio hums, gravelly yet smooth, and Noctis can see his Shield staring into his blue-gray depths - full of lust and desire.

"Now turn around, so I can take you from behind…"

Noctis hesitates, still relentlessly pumping - too focused on his fantasy to even register there's anyone else besides he and Gladio in the alleyway - and his Shield continues, "Just do as you're told if you want me to take you. Press your arms up against the wall and let me fuck you from behind." Gladio's voice drops deeper, "I promise you won't be able to walk straight when I'm done with you."

Noctis gasps as his hand reflexively squeezes tighter at the thought, then twists on his heel to face the wall. He stumbles a little, one hand still on his raging hard cock, pressing his forearm on the brick and leaning his forehead against it. His ass juts upwards as his fist pumps faster and faster.

"Hhnngh… Fuck… You're this wet but you're so damn _tight_ ," Gladio moans and Noctis shudders.

 _Is_ he tight? 

"You feel so fucking _good._ "

 _Does_ he? 

"Fuck--" 

Noctis is almost frantic now, pressing his lips together to keep from panting, huffing muted breaths through his nose as his hand works faster and harder to match the filthy rhythmic slaps echoing round the alley.

“You cumming already? Cos I'm not fucking done yet,” Gladio grunts with exertion.

At the promise of being fucked even through his orgasm, next thing Noct knows he’s spurting thick ropey jets all over the wall.

He opens his eyes again, mouth still clamped shut and breath shaking. What the… What the hell has he just done?! 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Noctis stuffs himself back into his pants, cheeks burning at the incriminating white splatter on the brick in front of him. Gladio is still going at it hard from the other side of the crates ( _damn,_ that's some stamina he has) and Noctis is grateful for the sounds to help cover up his escape.

As stealthily as he possibly can, in his weak muscled post-orgasm state, Noctis fumbles his way out from the alleyway and back into the open streets again. At least the activity seems to have shaken his body back into being sober again.

OK. Fuck. So.

What now? Noctis needs to head home and sleep, maybe take a cold shower if his mind wanders back to the dirty talk his Shield had been spouting right next to his ear just now.

And tomorrow morning?

Noctis needs to make a call to his best friend.

It's time for the Prince to get prettied up.


	3. It's All in the Hips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day, Prompto comes over to give Noctis the makeover of a lifetime… and he does! The results leave everyone speechless.

"I came over as soon as I could!"

Prompto's beaming with excitement as he bursts through the front door, words spilling eagerly before he's even stepped inside. He holds up a couple of bags and thrusts them into Noctis' hands, almost falling over his shoes as he hurriedly kicks them off.

"Wait till you see the stuff I bought!" 

"Wait till I've closed the door at least!" Noctis exclaims, cheeks slightly pink. He drags his friend in by the shoulder and slams the door shut; he's not keen for anyone to overhear what they're planning to get up to inside.

"OK, OK!" Prompto laughs, bouncing into the main room with a spring in his step. Eyebrows raised, the excited blonde asks, “So why the sudden change of heart? I almost thought you'd given up on the idea!" 

Noctis pauses for a moment. The plastic bags rustle in his grip as he recollects his time at the club the night before.

"Just…" 

He remembers his time in the alleyway, too. What he saw, heard, felt, and definitely did.

"Just because, OK?!" 

No way is he going into the details with Prompto now… or quite possibly _ever_. Noctis dumps the bags on the counter, eager to switch topics before he starts to blush at the memory.

"So what's all this stuff anyways?" Noctis asks as he starts rummaging through, squinting with curiosity as he pulls out the first item: a black colouring pencil? 

Saving the questions for a later date, Prompto decides to get started instead, eagerly snatching the pencil from Noctis' hand.

"OK, so after you called me this morning, I headed straight out to the mall to grab some _necessities_ ," Prompto waves the pencil as he speaks, then bops the tip on the end of Noct's nose. "Lemme talk you through 'em," he grins, taking out the rest of the things from the bags to display them haphazardly on the table.

"First up is makeup! From the out-on-the-town section and none of that everyday stuff. We need you to stand out to catch that Big Guy!" 

Along with the pencil, a variety of brushes, tubes and flat rectangular cases join it on the table - none of which Noctis has ever seen before in his life.

"Secondly, we've got clothes! The shortest, tightest skirt and sexiest top I could find - gotta show a little skin to catch a man, right? Hairspray and hair ties to tame that mess on your head…" Prompto continues, then seeing his best friend’s expression he snickers and leans over to whisper, "Just kidding man, you know I love how hot you look normally!"

Noctis shoves him away with an eye roll, still trying to process what's going on as more things are revealed from the bags.

"And last but not least," Prompto straightens up with a triumphant grin, "some accessories to make you _shine_ ."

Noctis is a little speechless at this gush of information and prods at the array of things spread over his table in slight disbelief.

It feels like getting ready for some royal ball, but this time… dressed up as a hot girl. 

"Oh, only thing I didn't get was shoes," Prompto says apologetically, "cos I don’t know your size - the other stuff I could just hold up against myself cos we're similar."

"No, it's fine," Noctis says under his breath, slowly taking in the apparent steps they need to do to get this makeover done with. "Thanks. I didn't expect you to get anything at all so quickly--" 

"Noct, you're my best friend! I'm gonna do everything I can for you!" Prompto grins again, patting the Prince heartily on the back. "So let's not waste any more time, yeah?" 

“Okay,” Noctis nods, looking at the items in front of him once more. “So what should we do first?”

“So! I read about this!” Prompto takes out his phone and quickly brings up his gallery to check his screenshots he made along the way. “First thing we gotta do is your hair! Best result is to blowdry your hair after washing it, cos we gotta add some volume!”

Eyeing his best friend in mock appraisal, Prompto adds seriously, “To turn our lazy Prince into a luscious Princess… This is going to be a looong day.”

“Hey!”

Laughing hard, Prompto pushes Noct towards the bathroom from behind, “But it's fine! We're gonna have fun and you're gonna look totally amazing!" He reaches to mess up his best friend's hair, "Can't believe you already put gel in when it's just me coming over… I'm flattered, but go wash your hair now - that’s an order!”

Chuckling, Noctis shakes his head before grabbing his towel from behind the bathroom door. “I think you’re forgetting who has the authority here.”

“O-oh well now,” Prompto smirks, teasingly voicing out, “I don’t know, buddy. You can't be in charge all the time… Like, d'you think you'll be the one calling the shots in bed? Gladio isn’t a big guy for nothing, ya know! Unless, what, you think he's secretly hiding an authority kink? Cos that'd--”

“S-SHUT UP PROM!" Noctis cuts him off, his face already burning red at the thought. "GO WAIT OUTSIDE!”

He kicks the blonde out and slams the door closed, Prompto's laughter ringing clear from the other side.

It doesn't take long for Noct to come out of the bathroom again, drying his hair with the towel around his neck. Before he can ask Prompto where he should sit, the other shoves the set of clothes into his chest.

"Next step is to put these on before we do your hair and makeup! Wouldn’t want to change after - it’ll ruin both!” 

Eyeing the clothes bundled in his arms, Noctis raises them up to take a proper look at what his friend brought. He squints sceptically, “Prompto, are you sure we're like _the same_ size?”

“Hell yeah, man! We’re nearly the same height and all, right? So this should be no problem!”

Eyes narrowing at the length of the skirt, Noctis sighs before going to the bedroom. “I’ll change then. Gimme a sec.” 

As the overzealous blonde rocks on his heels while waiting, he quickly searches for hairstyles suited for his best friend through the net. There's always the option of a wig, but Prompto feels it'd be better if they didn't need to use one. 

“Hey, Prom!” Noctis calls for his attention from the doorway. “It feels a little tight on the hips, bro. I um… I think I can walk in it just fine, though.” He totters forwards in front of the other teen and Prompto's mouth falls open.

"Lemme see what it's like in the mirror," Noct raises a hand to brush past his friend to the bathroom, but Prompto catches the hand in his own, stopping him from going any further.

“Noct, uhh… Hang on a sec - lemme just see you first!”

Prompto looks at his friend from up to down. Noct has always been a looker, no matter what he wears - whether casually dressed or up to the nines for an event - but the sight before him right now… Well. It’s something else, all right.

“…Is there something wrong?” Noct asks, a little worried about how his friend isn't saying anything good about the outfit. He'd half expected an OTT compliment, even if just made jokingly. 

"Yeah! I mean, no! Nothing wrong!" Prompto scrambles over to grab a brush, a handful of accessories and the hairspray. "Let's get on and do your hair!" 

Better distract himself with the job at hand, Prompto decides resolutely.

"OK, sit yourself up here in the light and relax!" 

Prompto runs his fingers through Noct's freshly washed hair, first brushing it all back and then bringing it all forwards to frame his face.

"What're you planning to do?" 

"Well, first thing is to blowdry - like I said, gotta get some volume - and I was just looking online and it said something about back combing if you really wanna create a statement…" Prompto leaves Noctis at the table as he goes in search of a hairdryer, continuing to say loudly as he goes, "And then I figured we should maybe put bunches in? Go for the innocent yet sexy look? And a buttload of hairspray to keep it all in place!" 

Noctis fidgets at the table, pulling at a strand of hair which falls over his face. In all honesty, he's never paid attention to the effort girls go to with different hairstyles, so if his best friend is saying he knows what looks good then Noct has no problem trusting him to know what to do.

After all, he wants to make sure that he'll instantly catch Gladio’s attention.

"All right then," Noctis relaxes back in his seat as Prompto returns with the hairbrush and dryer in hand, "make me pretty like a princess." 

Laughing out loud, Prompto moves to stand behind his best friend, doing a quick brush of his hair, “You _do_ know that’s what Gladio calls you, right? It looks like it’s gonna come true now~”

“Oh, shut up.”

After another quick skim through his phone, the blonde sets to work. The apartment is silent, aside from the white noise of the hairdryer, the quiet bristling of Noct’s hair being brushed, and Prompto's gentle murmurs to "Just look this side for me a sec," and to quickly check -- "It doesn't hurt, right?". His eyebrows furrowed, Prompto’s concentration is full on the Prince to create the perfect look for him. 

A final burst of hairspray over the whole thing and Prompto is done, taking a step back so he can check the overall result for the first time since he began.

"Is it what you wanted?" Noct asks, finding it hard to read Prompto's expression. His friend looks speechless as he reaches forwards to pet at one of the pigtails.

"Er…" Prompto turns away, blowing out a long puff of air. "It's um, different to what I had in mind, but it's OK!" He turns back with a grin and lightly flushed cheeks. "Let's just see the finished product once you get the makeup on - that's the stuff which is gonna make the real difference!" 

Noctis nods slowly, watching as Prom shoves the hairdressing materials to the side and begins laying out the various brushes, palettes and tubes in their place. In his mind, however, he can't help but notice there's something off with how his friend reacted when he checked his hair. 

‘Was Prompto blushing? A sign that he's embarrassed? Maybe I’m just overthinking it…’ Noct allows himself a smug smile - the blush must just mean he's looking even hotter than expected. 

"OK, I gotta warn you this might take a while," Prompto pulls up a chair directly in front. "We've got something called primer, foundation, blusher, eyeliner and mascara, eye shadow - and you've _gotta_ use more than one for a gradient look - lipstick and lip liner… Oh! Eyebrows!" Prompto picks up one of the pencils with a wave, "Almost forgot! So you're gonna need to do a lot more sitting still for me…"

"S'fine, Prom," Noctis grins. "Thanks again for helping me out with this."

"Bro, I told you. I got your back. So let’s make sure Gladio’s eyes will be all on you for the whole night!" 

Chuckling softly, Noct sits up a little straighter then puts his best poker face on. “All right, I'mma take this seriously, too. Let’s do this.”

The apartment is silent again, aside from Prompto's occasional gentle instructions, and Noctis lets himself enjoy the feeling of being pampered. If he didn't need to stay a little alert, fluttering his eyes and pressing his lips together as necessary, Noctis thinks he could easily fall asleep.

After what feels like forever, Prompto is finished. He leans back to take in his work as a whole, rather than hyper-concentrating on each section at a time.

Wow.

"Can I look in the mirror now?" 

"Um, hold on a sec, buddy!"

Noct looks… Just wow.

"...Why're you making that face?" Noctis squints suspiciously. "Prom?" 

"Wait, no--" Prompto cocks his head, makeup brush still in hand. "I'm not sure this is right?" 

"Prom, lemme see," Noctis stands up and pushes past, finally able to see the result of their efforts for the first time.

Noct loves Prompto to the bone, of course platonically speaking, but he can tell straight off the bat that he's just not an expert at this. At. All.

He looks like a second rate, trying too hard, drag queen from one of the best bars in town – scratch that, in _any bar_ including Scarlet Eclipse.

The makeup is just horrendous. It looks like his face became a child’s colouring book: the lines are thick and heavy, making his features look entirely too fake, and both his lipstick and eyeliner are smudged to the point it's difficult to believe Noctis hadn't applied them himself with both eyes closed.

Prompto chose a foundation _three_ shades lighter than Noct's actual skin tone (he'd said lighter was more feminine, but _really_??) and the result makes him look like a vampire. Coupled with the pink blush popping on his cheeks and the garishly unblended eyeshadow? 

Well, that's just another thing entirely.

Black and gold may be stereotypical nightclub colours, but right now the combination just isn't cutting it. Noctis looks like he’s a newbie to the Insomnian Goth scene. Maybe even belonging to a cult worshipping Odin, the mythological knight of Ancient Times.

And the shade of the lipstick! OK, he understands why bright red is used but to add that to the equation of a really _really_ white complexion, really thick eyebrows, and dark shadows around his eyes… He looks like a vampire all right. Heck, he might even be able to classify himself as a daemon in the bestiary.

As for his hairstyle... He doesn’t know how to describe it. Only it’s too stiff, the bunches are at odd angles to each other, and _how much hairspray did Prom use!?_

Then there's the outfit. He hasn't even started with the clothes. Oh. The. Supposed. Pretty. Clothes.

He knew there had been something wrong with the skirt! It isn’t just short. It’s _too_ tight to the point his bulge has nowhere to hide! Sure, it's black, it should make the person look slimmer but heck, that isn’t the case at all! He's already slender to begin with, and once he turns to a side view, he can practically see that _‘umph!’_ part of the male anatomy!

And the top! It's sequinned and skimpy and clinging to his body in all the wrong places. Noct isn't the most muscular guy around, but with the way the top is cut - in at the waist, horizontal windows of missing material over where his bust should be, and flimsy elastic straps tight against his shoulders - it just emphasises his lack of… 'feminine assets' even more.

Noctis is just speechless at this point. So what was with all that blushing from before?! Prompto must just have been embarrassed over how bad he is at this! And what the hell was all that 'I know a bit about make up' his friend had boasted about?? 

"I…"

"Wait!" Prompto presses his hand over Noctis' mouth, not caring about the lipstick smudging into his palm. "Don't say anything! I've messed up, I know you can look better than this!"

Noctis raises a heavily pencilled eyebrow with a deadpan ‘are-you-serious’ expression on his _colour book smudged AND SCRIBBLED_ face.

"It's a lot harder than it looks, you know! But listen, I can fix this - trust me."

Noctis raises both eyebrows. Trust him? Isn't that how he got into this mess in the first place? What’s going to happen if he even shows his face in a club looking like this?

Prompto slowly removes his hand from Noct's face and points to where he left his cellphone on the side.

"...I'm gonna call Iggy."

Noct opens his mouth to protest but Prompto has already run across to grab his phone and hit the speed dial.

“Prom…" he grits out, "you better have makeup remover on you, bro.”

“... Ahahaha…” Prompto averts his gaze, sheepishly laughing while rubbing the back of his neck, “Whoops~”

Noctis makes a dive for the other teen, but it's a little hard to move quickly dressed as he is, and Prompto evades him with a spin.

"It's fine, just stay like that! It'll make explaining easier-- huh? Hey, Iggy! No, I was just talking to Noct! Listen!"

Prompto trails off as he bounces into the next room, unfairly flippant over the whole thing, and Noctis sinks back into the chair with a loud groan and his hands covering his Goth-like face.

Bahamut, give him strength. 

\----------

Half an hour later and Ignis is in the front room, eyeing up Prompto's handiwork as Noct forces himself to stay rooted to the spot rather than run and lock himself in the bathroom.

"So… allow me to summarise," Ignis hums, poker-faced and arms folded with his chin lightly resting against one knuckle. "His Highness is interested in crossdressing in order to capture a certain man's attention, and to put it mildly, the result was the transformation into a dark elemental Lamia Queen."

“Seriously!? It isn’t that bad!”

Ignoring Prompto’s quick comment, Ignis' eyes remain fixed upon the crossdressing teen, “Would you care to indulge me with the identity of this man so that I can at _least_ do a security check on him? I'm afraid I need the option to slay him with my polearm if he ever ruins you or the face of the Crown." 

Noctis can feel himself blushing even more furiously as Prompto glances in his direction, waiting for him to be the one to answer the question.

It's hard enough to accept that he’s been pining over an oblivious hot guy for quite some time, who just so happens to be his bodyguard, without needing to admit it out loud. And he's only here right now because Prompto figured him out and started talking about this crazy idea - which he still can't decide if it's ridiculous or genius only because of how crazy it actually is. So if Iggy now learns about his feelings… What are the chances his Advisor will stab his Shield first before he can even kiss him? Noct needs some more time to think it over.

"It's Gladio," Prompto blurts out.

"Dude!" Noctis hisses, “Really?? You traitor!”

Prompto just shrugs in reply. 

"We've come this far," he smiles and nods at the way Noct is dressed up, "there's no point hiding anything else! For we all know, Iggy might know the big guy and know what he likes!" With a raised eyebrow, Prompto continues, “we both know they talk! They’re like you and me!”

"But you didn’t have to blurt it out like that! Look at Iggy! He doesn’t even know what expression he should have right now!" Noctis points out to Prompto who in return, looks at Ignis whose face is just blank.

“Oh… uh… Sorry…” Prompto mumbles, pressing his lips together in a way which doesn't make him look sorry at all.

“To me or to Iggy??” Noctis frowns, clearly sulking.

Ignis is slow at replying, still trying to hide any potential surprise at this revelation. He supposes it's better it's Gladio rather than somebody random - one less job to do scoping the would-be suitor out - but still… to think it would be the Shield himself.

Should he support this or not? Maybe… this might be the one and only chance for their Prince to fully experience how to love someone, without any judgement of his social standing nor his character.

The advisor steps forward to gingerly touch the ends of Noctis' stiffly hair sprayed bangs, voice still carefully measured and strained, "...Upon 'capturing his attention', what do you intend to do with Gladio next? Surely you understand you can't keep up the pretence forever…"

Ignis runs one gloved finger down Noctis' cheek, then lifts his hand away again to look at the excess foundation picked up; he rubs his finger and thumb together before resuming eye contact once more, a questioning frown in place. “And are you sure you want to go through with this? We all know how he is… He's hardly famed for his commitment to a relationship.”

"No, I mean, yeah of course! I’m sure!" Noctis stutters, still not entirely used to the idea of both his best friends all of a sudden in on the secret crush he's been hiding for all these years. "I mean…" he clenches his fists lightly, "it's literally just to get his attention. If he's not interested then I know he’ll forget about it as I'll shove my feelings down to the side. And if he _is_ interested... then I'll come straight out and tell him who I am."

Noctis can feel his cheeks burn redder. _Would_ he have the courage to come straight out and say it? He definitely would, right? It’s the right thing to do and he wouldn’t want Gladio to resent him for the rest of his life. After all, he's literally going to be there until the day he dies. 

"That's right!" Prompto chimes in, and Noctis is grateful for Ignis' gaze to turn away. "He's just doing it for a little confidence boost, you know?"

Ignis taps one finger against his lips in thought.

Noctis and Prompto hold their breaths together, waiting for him to speak. Both hope for the better. They do not want him to disapprove and tell them to call the whole thing off… The plan may sound ridiculous but they're sure Iggy's heard about how Gladio parties around every night! Noctis has no choice but to do this!

In his mind, Ignis isn't against the idea because he's pretty certain the Prince will succeed: after all, Ignis is pretty astute, and he's noticed the way Gladio looks at the raven haired teen sometimes: lingering glassy eyes and occasional slack jawed gazes. Although, he has to admit Noctis has done well to hide his own feelings (for however long he's been hiding them for) - that must just be the royal poker face for you. 

Ignis will have to tread carefully. As it appears that Noctis’ love for his bodyguard may be deeper than it seems. 

"...I don't suppose you've ever considered the possibility that dressing up may _not_ actually be necessary?" Ignis hazards, but Noctis just scoffs and turns away.

"Don't be ridiculous, Iggy. You know what a flirt Gladio is! If he was into me, he definitely would've made a move already!" 

‘Well, not if he was too concerned that making a move might be a conflict to his duties; Gladio is too responsible for that.’ Ignis thinks, though he personally knows that this is an unfounded worry.

"...Right," Ignis finally allows his hand to drop, gesturing instead in the Prince's direction. "I'll help you. It seems as if you need it… desperately."

Prompto whoops and Noctis exhales softly - part embarrassed and part relieved.

"And with my help, you're certain not to fail. I'll make sure of it."

Ignis decides not to mention Noctis is certain not to fail even without his help; if they're going to do this, then he might as well enjoy himself, too. Astrals know how hard it is to dress the Prince up for important royal gatherings and events. Starting from waking him up to even putting a light foundation on his frowning face, Ignis would always drink two to three cups of Ebony beforehand. And now this happens? This is definitely up Ignis' alley.

Gesturing at the whole getup with a faintly smug smile, Ignis calmly says, "Let's begin by removing the… mess that our well-meaning… Prompto has made."

"Hey!" Prompto retorts upon reflex but not really disagreeing with the dig.

In relief, Noctis smirks and teasingly replies, "I'm all yours, Iggy," relaxing in his stance and holding out his arms for Ignis to get a proper look at him.

Shaking his head with a slight upward curve at the corner of his lips, "Make-up remover?" Ignis asks, slightly amused with both of the young teens’ antics. He walks in front of the table, quickly scanning the items already spread out - next to the cardboard box he'd brought with him and placed there upon arriving.

"Ah, yeah… The one thing I forgot!" Prompto admits sheepishly, one hand on the back of his head.

Rolling his eyes, Noctis pouts with his arms crossed on his chest, “Seriously bro, of all the things that you can forget. Even _I_ know that you need makeup remover when you put on makeup.”

“All right, all right~! I may have thought that we would get this perfectly in one take!”

Coughing softly, Ignis refrains himself from picking on the blonde teen even more, instead commanding, "Prompto, if you would be so kind… Fetch me the olive oil and paper towels from the kitchen." Hearing a perky answer of agreement, Ignis waits for him to return while setting the makeup into neat rows, ready for use.

"Er… You making us a snack?" Noctis tilts his head, curious about the olive oil.

"No, we're going to use it as a natural cleanser," Ignis maneuvers Noctis back into his seat. 

Prompto returns with the things requested and Ignis pushes him down into the chair opposite the Prince. "I trust you're at least capable of wiping this all off without making any more of a mess?" Ignis raises an eyebrow teasingly and Prompto nods eagerly in response, "Of course! I've got this!" 

"Good. In the meantime, I'll fetch something a little more _fetching_ from the Prince's wardrobe…" Ignis turns to make his way to Noct’s bedroom. Before anything else, they need to find something suitable to best accentuate the Prince’s _other features,_ besides the obvious male reproductive organ that was… prominently featured a while ago. 

"Huh? Wait, Specs! I don't own any girls' clothes though!" Noctis interrupts, just as Prompto wipes an oiled towel down his cheek. 

Ignis just smiles knowingly, "You'll be surprised what a little imagination can achieve." 

Blinking at Ignis’ retreating figure, all Noctis can do is murmur, “Uh… okay. If you say so,” under his breath.

Once Noctis is a blank canvas again, face freshly washed at the sink, Ignis tells him to stand in the centre of the room so he can circle him like a vulture, critically analyzing Noctis’ figure once more.

"While it's true wearing something revealing oftentimes works well to capture one's prey for the evening - and by prey, I mean Gladio - sometimes it can be more effective to hide rather than show… To make you look more alluring, rather than looking like a tramp," Ignis stifles a smirk behind one hand.

"Let's begin by focusing on the parts of the body you _can't_ see," Ignis points at the lower half of Noctis' body with his palm facing upwards. "Take this area, for instance…"

"Er, yeah... that's my fault!" Prompto pipes up sheepishly with a slight raise of his hand. "I didn't think that part through!" 

"Yes, and as a result that 'part' is almost _poking_ through," Ignis quips, deadpan.

"Hey, if you've got a _boner_ to pick with me just come out and say it!" Prompto continues. 

"Well, you definitely _cocked_ up on this occasion," comes the amused reply.

"Really, guys?! Dick puns??" Noctis cuts in with a sigh, trying to put a serious face on. "You're not done _cocking_ each other yet? Or do you need me to _cockblock_ your fun and put your little _sausage party_ to an end myself? The _big guy_ isn't gonna wait forever, you know - and that's one _member_ of our group I'm not willing to share anymore." 

Prompto snorts into his hand and Ignis straightens his glasses with a smirk. For the Prince to be this relaxed and open with his feelings already, maybe this project will be a lot more amusing than Ignis had originally thought… And maybe the Prince is definitely a lot more serious over his Shield than he'd originally thought, too.

"Anyway," the advisor puts his hands firmly on Noctis' shoulders and marches him towards the bedroom, "let's begin by getting you out of those clothes. I wouldn’t be surprised if the dress that Prompto bought for himself will tear."

“See, bro! I told you we aren’t the same size!” Noctis shouts as he enters his room, but not before darting his tongue out at his redfaced friend.

“Gah! Seriously, I get it! Is this Prompto’s ‘all-day-getting-picked-on’ day?!”

Moments later, Noctis steps back out into the main room and Prompto is almost floored by the difference. Thank Eos for Ignis Scientia -- the mother hen of the chocobros!

Tied around the Prince's waist, Ignis has somehow transformed an unbuttoned, flannel-patterned, black and grey shirt into the cutest of skirts: its material is bunched up in ruffles around Noctis' hips in a way which pads out his figure, creating the illusion of subtle curves. Falling midway down Noctis' thighs and slightly twisted, its slit of exposed skin runs up the inside of one leg just inches shy of Noctis' now well-concealed crotch. A pair of long black socks have had the feet cut off and layered over a second pair, making it seem like Noctis is wearing tights: high enough to leave only the bottom half of Noctis' thighs on display, the pale stripe of naked skin against black entirely too seductive. 

Seemingly wearing a two piece now, the sequinned black top from before glitters upon Noctis' chest, but Ignis has placed a second midnight blue shirt on top, complimenting Noctis’ aquatic eyes. The overlaying shirt is tucked into the makeshift skirt so the excess material puffs out adorably, while the unbuttoned top half is flawlessly draped around Noctis' shoulders - leaving just the tops of his arms and his collarbone showing while the sleeves droop down to cover his hands.

With only his fingertips peeking out from the edge of his cuffs, Noctis is already effortlessly nailing the sexy-cute look Prompto had been going for - and he's not even wearing any make up yet! The long chained silver pendant and matching bracelets give off an entirely different feel than before, accenting the outfit perfectly.

"Iggy…" Prompto breathes as Noctis shifts self-consciously on the spot, "you're a _genius_."

"I try," Ignis smirks.

Noctis is ushered back across to the table and Ignis sets to work on his face, murmuring brief explanations as he goes:

"Your skin is already fairly clear so we just need to work on highlighting your features rather than cake you with powder. Now for your eyes to appear larger, just a touch on the edges like so… Smokey eyeshadow will contrast nicely, white on the inside… A silver sheen just here… Mascara, blink, don't let it clump… Not too much attention to your eyebrows… Yes, the natural look is best, this shade of pink will do nicely for your lips…"

Ignis leans back, holding out one hand in Prompto's direction.

"A brush, if you will?" 

Prompto hands Ignis what he needs, watching his friend's transformation with amazement. Who knew that less could be more? Noct looks beautiful - if he's not careful, Prompto might even start feeling his own heart flutter at the sight!

"While I understand the desire to not need too many accessories," Ignis speaks as he gently brushes out Noct's hair, "on this occasion I sincerely believe a wig would be better rather than such a short hairstyle--"

"No, but Gladio prefers his girls with cropped hair like mine," Noctis blurts out without thinking, immediately regretting the comment as he sees Ignis' eyebrow quirk.

"Does he now? And how are you so confident of this?" 

Taking his time to reply, Noctis answers the question carefully - knowing already that Ignis has picked up he's hiding something from him. 

“I… have heard from a one hundred percent reliable source that Gladio… _dates_ women who have above shoulder length hair.”

“And this reliable source would be from where, exactly… _Your Highness_?”

“He’s a... manager from a well-known establishment that Gladio often goes to. He was very proper and helpful, you could say.”

Squinting at Noctis with knowing eyes, both know it's only a matter of time before Ignis asks which possible royal security protocols the Prince has broken so far. However, right now isn’t the time for that.

Letting it slide, Ignis brushes Noctis' hair into a side parting, the majority of his fringe over his left eye and framing the edges of his face. 

"I suppose we can make do with what we have, then," Ignis takes one of the hairties to fix a cute fountain to the back of Noctis' head, up at an angle on his right to balance the heavy fringe at the front. "We can use your hair to hide the shape of your face a little - women tend to have softer bone structures, so this will make the difference a little less apparent."

Prompto whistles, still in awe at how effortless Ignis makes everything look. And how is he so damn knowledgeable about everything?? 

"And now for the _pièce de resistance_ ," Ignis hums, pleased at his work so far. He walks across to the table, picking up the cardboard box sitting there with a flourish.

Even if he hadn't yet been entirely on board when Prompto had called - stumbling over his words something to do with Noct wanting to dress up like a girl - Ignis always liked to be well-prepared, so had grabbed the box before heading out.

"Ohh, I was wondering what that was for!" Prompto grins, eyes wide in anticipation. As if there's the sound of a drum roll in the background, both younger teens gasp at what they see. "Astrals, you did not! You brought a pair of heels??" Prompto looks positively ecstatic. "When'd you get these?!" 

"Come try them on," Ignis hands the shoes to Noctis, choosing to ignore Prompto's question. "I thought we could try focusing on your movements for today, even if we weren't able to get you looking the part."

Noctis perches awkwardly on the edge of the couch as he straps the heels on, then stands up with a slight wobble.

“So, Your Highness," Ignis starts. "When you wear heels, wear them as if you're wearing any other casual flat shoes… But unlike other footwear, these require a little technique. If I may?”

Allowing Noctis to stand up straight, Ignis crouches down and points to the heel part of the stilettos.

“When you walk, with sneakers or boots, it usually doesn't matter how you do it: you may step with your toe first then heel or both together... However, with stilettos - or any form of footwear with heels - you should _never_ step with your toe first.”

Standing up straight and directly in front of Noctis, Ignis emphasizes this detail, “If you do that, you will lose balance more often than you should and the heels will most certainly break. Furthermore, if you start stepping with heel first then toe, it will become a habit beneficial in fixing your posture even more.”

Mouth agape, Noctis is surprised. He doesn't know if he should be surprised with the fact that walking can be so hard, especially with heels, or the fact that Ignis is… very informed about makeup and heels in the first place. It’s as if he's seeing another side of Ignis that he hasn’t seen before.

“So… what’s the goal here then, if I want to capture Gladio’s attention?” Noct asks, looking at the floor and the beautiful stilettos he’s wearing.

“Besides what I've told you, it is to practically walk as if you’re walking on water. Fluid, alluring, and as if you own the whole place.”

“... But I do own the place. I’m a prince,” Noctis smirks, eyes twinkling with playfulness.

“Exactly," Ignis smiles. He stands beside his liege, excited to see him do his first walk with heels on. “For now, and firstly, I would like you to get a feel on how it is to walk with heels.”

“But I might lose my balance," Noctis frowns, disliking the fact he might fall ungracefully to the floor.

“Prompto’s here to support you, as am I. So try, Your Highness,” Ignis reassures. The gentle widening of his liege’s blue eyes at him doesn't go unnoticed by Ignis; he's delighted to see the Prince has heard the subtle loyalty and care woven into his words. 

“All right… I’ll try," Noct smiles widely at Ignis before looking resolutely straight ahead. He tests out his first few steps with heels, feet slightly wobbling and arms a little held up.

"OK… I think I got this…" Noctis makes it across to the wall, leaning on it with one hand as he turns round again. "You guys sit on the couch and tell me what you think…"

The two blondes do as requested, settling themselves a little more comfortably in their seats with each step the Prince takes, confidence slowly taking over where wobbles once were.

"Looking good, Noct!" Prompto claps as the Prince attempts to catwalk the length of the apartment again. "Heel, toe! Heel, toe!" 

Noctis frowns in concentration as he carefully steps, each of his strides a little more sure than the last.

"OK, so let's make a list of what we need to get next," Prompto turns to Ignis, eyes twinkling and enjoying himself far too much at Noctis' expense. "Different clothes… Some cute hair accessories… Matching shoes!" 

"Underwear. Lingerie. Garter belts," Ignis puts in, straightfaced as he continues to watch Noct strut up and down.

"Underwear??" Prompto repeats, incredulous grin in place. 

"Yes, well. If a job's worth doing then it's worth doing properly. No sense making a half-hearted attempt," Ignis stands abruptly, clapping his hands for Noctis' attention. 

Noct stops mid step, twisting on his heel, one hand now on his waist and the other stretched out for balance. 

"A great improvement, Highness," Ignis smiles, "but a little extra flair is needed to just set it off. If you would allow me to demonstrate?" he holds out his hand for the shoes.

Noctis blinks a little dumbly, but holds onto the table with one hand as he removes the heels and hands them over. 

"Perfect," Ignis straps them on with ease, straightening up and mimicking Noctis' pose from earlier, one hand on his hip. 

Prompto gulps. Ignis is a sight all right - perfectly pristine suit and his legs looking impossibly long, those sharp stilettos emphasising his figure in a way which makes Prompto feel like his brain has stopped working. Why do the shoes fit Iggy so well? How did he have them to hand already? The young blonde feels like he should be asking these questions, but somehow it doesn't really matter right now as he takes in the view.

The advisor runs his free hand down his body - sliding his palm against his chest and splaying his fingers enticingly over his thigh - and Prompto almost falls forwards out of his seat. _Damn._ Who knew Iggy could be so damn _sexy_? 

Then Ignis sashays across the room, ankles crossing and pelvis swaying with each step, posing at the end to look over one shoulder with his ass jutted to the side - and Prompto's mind most definitely grinds to a halt.

"Let yourself relax into the swing," Ignis states matter-of-factly, as Prompto tries to stop his mouth from hanging wide open at the sight.

"It's _all_ in the hips," and Noctis almost swears he sees Ignis wink -- “Allow me to demonstrate once more, Your Highness.”


	4. Mission P.W.P. is a Go!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Cancel all my meetings, Iggy. Mission is a go!"

The loud slam of the front door closing can be heard down the hallway as Noctis enters his apartment - tired, stressed out, and a little hungry.

Turning on the lights, the grumpy Prince removes his shoes and carelessly kicks them near the shoe rack. His workout bag on his shoulder, he lets the strap slide down his arm, drops the baggage to the floor, and drags it as if it were filled with rocks.

“Ugh, finally,” Noctis exasperates out loud, dragging his feet towards the sofa. He plops himself face down on it, finally carefree, allowing his arms to dangle limply over the edge.

Noct buries his face into the throw pillows for a minute, letting himself relax. Breathing slowly through his mouth, he can feel how his entire body is sore from the long training he's just had with his Shield. Forcing himself to roll over onto his back, the Prince winces softly at the particular ache throbbing through his whole lower body. 

He can never get used to this. He knows the training is necessary - that Gladio’s honing his body and refining his skills to the bone - but the pain in his muscles is just another story entirely. Noctis can never feel pleasure from this… Although apparently his Shield can.

"Fucking masochist," Noctis scoffs. Then he takes out his phone from his pocket and opens up a video sharing site, searching for a specific kind of video - the kind of video he's been studying daily lately.

Clicking the play icon, he starts to watch from where he'd left off earlier. As the music fills the apartment, Noctis is soon engrossed: that move is kind of cool, nice hand placement, Noctis wouldn't have thought of putting his legs _there._ The video ends and Noctis finds he has the energy to get up again, standing up and making his way to the bedroom to retrieve the item he needs - no time to relax too long, he needs to get on with the task Ignis left for him to do a few days ago.

Less than a week has passed since Noct's makeover session. His two friends had assured him they had all the clothes and accessories under control… So all Noctis needed to focus on was learning how to move in those heels in a sure way to captivate Gladio's attention. 

Being fairly athletic, it didn't take long for the Prince to master simply walking. The real challenge came next: how to dance.

Of course, Noctis knew how to dance… But only in the way expected of him at formal occasions. He knew how to waltz and do ballroom dancing, but he didn’t know how to dance casually. He didn’t know how to dance sensually. He didn’t know how to dance like a _girl_. 

He didn't have a clue how to dance at a club either, and he regretted that he hadn't been paying enough attention during his visit to one the other night. He thought it was just going to be a seduction play, but apparently, he was wrong.

Noctis pouted, his mind filled with sinful thoughts over his stupidly sexy Shield - especially what he'd witnessed at the alley. 

How Noct viewed Gladio as a lover had changed that night. Now he sees him more than capable to be just a one night stand man. He’s passionate to the bone. He’s dominating and incredibly strong, especially when he held the thighs of that lucky woman at that time. He could imagine his delight the next morning after a night filled with fucking.

Setting his very… _VERY distracting_ thoughts to the side, Noctis goes back to the task at hand.

He balances his phone next to the mirror, so he can see both the screen and himself at the same time, and leaves the site playing in the background as he pulls on the stilettos. 

Noctis takes a deep breath and steadies himself to copy what he sees.

The majority of the moves seem to focus on the hips: quick movements side to side - emphasising the curves of the body - or slow, sensual circles, deliberately drawing attention to long legs and pert asses. Hands also seem to be important, always with some purpose behind their placement… Fingers splayed wide while running a palm enticingly down a thigh, or half-clenched fists cutely bopping in front of bosoms, fingertips pointing at lips or teasingly flicking hair… Noctis realises there's a lot more behind dancing provocatively than he'd originally thought. 

He starts off by trying to sway his hips, legs rooted in place until he gets used to the motion. He concentrates on his reflection in the mirror, allowing his body to feel the rhythm of the music, forcing himself to relax into the beat - he finds that the more he relaxes, the better he looks.

As the music permeates his body, Noct starts to move his legs into alternate side steps, letting his shoulders move perfectly in time like the dancers on screen. He soon begins to feel more comfortable, the heels giving the perfect leverage to help his hips sway, and brings his arms up to mimic the movements he sees.

The camera zooms in on one of the girl's faces as she winks and runs her index finger across her bottom lip, and Noctis feels brave enough to copy, looking at himself in the mirror as he does so: he winks and lets his fingers sensually trace his jawline, one tip feather light against his bottom lip. He licks his lower lip afterwards, acting confident and flirty.

He consciously maintains eye contact while he copies the girls on screen. Noctis puts one hand on his hip as he juts his ass out to the side. He looks over his shoulder while his other hand runs through his hair, caressing his cheek, then quickly jerks his head to the front again with a coy smirk. Taking a step so he’s side-on to the mirror now, Noctis leaves his back leg slightly bent and bends over - then he runs both hands up his front leg, starting from his ankle to his thigh, arching his body into an S-shaped curve as he straightens up again.

He lets his body move as naturally as possible, as sensually as possible. In every move he takes, he remembers to be confident and seductive, commanding attention - demanding all eyes to be on him.

With his feet slightly in front of each other, he bends his knees as if walking on the spot - though his feet don't move at all - keeping his hands on his thighs, slightly leaning forward to emphasize his ass. He opens up his hands so just his fingertips are touching his hips, grinding against the air in large circles as he squats down as deep as he can and back up again - the whole time watching his profile in the mirror.

He takes his time to look at himself in the mirror and remember what he has done. He feels proud of himself, more confident with himself, making him grin at this achievement. Taking this time as a small break, he catches his breath a little while the video continues running. The moves definitely aren't as difficult as he thought they'd be, but he needs to remember a few things. He just needs to concentrate on relaxing and looking like he's in control, either smirking haughtily or feigning indifference… Keeping the attention on the body parts he wants Gladio to want to touch… Ass, thighs and chest.

Noct faces the mirror front on again as the video ends and the next one begins. He has the site set up on autoplay, so he can concentrate on his dancing rather than worrying about his phone. Hopefully, whatever comes up next should follow a similar theme.

The next thing to play doesn't seem to be a music video - it's not as professional looking in terms of camera work or lighting - but there's definitely dancing involved so Noct decides to give it a go.

Keeping his eyes fixated on the girl in the video, the Prince does his best to mimic her moves. He touches his heels together and begins swaying his hips from side to side again, this time with his hands straight up above his head, then brings one arm down to run his hand over his body, finishing on his inner thigh. The other hand twists and flicks in the air in time with the music.

He steps out, legs wide, spinning on one heel so his back's to the mirror and looks over his shoulder, both hands on his ass - he lightly squeezes at the flesh as he bops his hips in quick succession, teasing his lower lip between his teeth, and smiles coquettishly at his reflection.

The moves he's done so far seem to be good at grabbing attention, but Noctis isn't so hot on linking them together yet… So he spends time on the next few videos focusing on the little hand gestures and quick steps – how to keep his body rocking so his dancing begins to flow without thinking, or how to drop in a killer move at just the right moment in a song.

It's been over half an hour now, so Noctis decides to call it a night after one more video. Hands on hips, he licks his lips as he waits for the next one to start.

It starts with a buff topless guy blindfolded and handcuffed to a chair with his hands behind his back. Noctis' mouth falls open at the sight (why the hell had _this_ come up next??), but then the music starts and a girl comes strutting in from the side, running the tips of her fingers along the man's collarbone as she begins to dance around him. She makes a few laps, touching his shoulders and chest as she circles him, hips swaying and gyrating against the air, or with her back to the chair, before eventually pulling at one end of the blindfold to undo it and let the silken material fall forgotten to the ground.

Noct steps forwards to pause the video. It's not the kind of situation he imagines himself to be in, so maybe he should skip to something different… but he also has to admit - the girl is a good dancer. The whole performance is really hot. And the guy in the chair… he can almost imagine it's Gladio in that chair, tanned and muscular with cropped brown hair…

‘What the heck. Why not? No harm in being prepared just in case…’

\----------

  
  


Noct is once again… tired. And this time, it’s because of his royal duties as a prince.

As much as the grumpy prince hated going to meetings for as long as he could remember, this time, he cannot get away. He owes Ignis for helping him with their so-called _Prince Wears Prada_ project (as Prompto had so eagerly dubbed it). In return for Ignis’ utmost, top quality assistance for the past few days, Noct agreed that he would attend any meetings within his capabilities - and short patience - cherry picked by none other than Ignis himself.

It isn’t clear until when he will have to keep on attending these boredom of activities, but he knows he cannot back down either. What he dislikes the most is sitting on his chair for so long while forcing himself to listen and not fall asleep to the droning sound of old men babbling about simple things - including the menu for the upcoming dinner for diplomats. 

Seriously, it’s a waste of time hearing them nag like old high aristocrat housewives who can’t decide which plate sets are better. It doesn’t help either that the meeting required him to leave home at seven in the morning: a very, _VERY_ ungodly hour for him to be awake. 

Stone faced, Noctis crosses his legs as he continues to watch the council bicker over the petty issue at hand. They've been at it for hours now and it's amazing how much time they seem to have to waste on such insignificant matters.

It just shows even more why he hates going to these meetings. Why isn’t his father the one here to listen to this shit?

Oh yeah, because Noct owes Ignis.

“Gentlemen, as much as the council does not have any final verdict on the finer details of the upcoming banquet, may I suggest we retire for this session? The Prince has a number of arranged engagements for the afternoon, so I believe it may be best to allow him ample time to prepare for his next upcoming session,” Ignis' clear voice cuts through the mumbling chatter as he stands smartly behind the seat of his liege. 

“Of course, Master Scientia! We understand,” the head of the council replies apologetically -- “Let us resume this meeting two days from now with our Highness, Prince Noctis Lucis Caelum, as our overseer and evaluator for this matter. Good day, gentlemen.”

The council concludes the meeting, with the final closing statements, and soon after the members are all standing up to leave the meeting hall, bowing their heads in respect to Noctis on their way out.

Thank Astrals for Ignis. 

Schooling his expression, Noctis hides his relief and excitement to finally get out of the room as he presents his practiced royal smile to the members, some shaking his hand before they leave. He is so not looking forward to the next meeting, but at least he has some time to kill.

As both wait for everyone else to leave and close the door, Noctis finally slumps on his chair and undoes the first two buttons of his top. Ignis steps in front with his arms crossed and leans on the edge of the table, a wry smile in place.

“I hope you'll forgive me for cutting the meeting short, but your apparent distress from boredom was becoming too much to bear.” 

“You're forgiven," Noctis huffs, playing along, "but I'm gonna hate you later if they try to pick up from where we left off by starting all over again."

The Prince stretches forward over the table. "I'm glad it's over for now, though. I’m sure if it was Gladio, he’d just tap my shoulder and tell me to concentrate and not fall asleep,” Noct pouts a little, cheek flat against the table –“I mean come on, how can he seriously handle this? How can he stand, _standing there like a statue for hours?_ ”

Ignis couldn’t help but chuckle at him. Ever since Noct’s secret attraction towards the young Shield had been spilled, the raven haired teen had become completely transparent to both he and Prompto. Noct now freely vents about almost anything Gladio does which irritates the Prince in the slightest.

“Where is he anyways?” Noctis asks, finally pushing himself upright again.

Looking at his phone, Ignis quickly takes a look at today’s agenda.

"The Marshal had him in a meeting together with some Glaives: a briefing for their sweep mission next week. Judging by the time, they should be finished by now. Would you like me to call him so we can have lunch together?” Ignis asks, noting that it's already nearly midday. 

“No need,” Noctis stands up, ignoring the small excitement slowly blossoming in his chest, “I kinda want to stretch my legs a bit… And maybe bitch at him a bit.” 

“I see,” Ignis replies, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Shall I come with you, Your Highness?” he asks a follow-up question, as much as he knows the answer to that. 

“Nah, I can handle this. I’ll meet you at the car,” Noct nods at his advisor before walking towards the exit.

“Of course, Your Highness. I’ll wait for you and Gladio with the car ready.”

Noctis walks around the Citadel with confidence. It’s as if due to his ‘evening training’ with heels on, his walk feels a little different. It’s not just that he has a spring in his step, but his posture seems a little straighter now. It’s weird. He didn’t think that such simple footwear could have such an effect on how he walks, stands, and holds himself.

Reviewing the videos and the lessons he learned last night, he tries to walk a straight line, imagining himself on a catwalk. With his hands in his pockets, his face looking forward to where he is going - and despite the lack of stilettos - he enjoys this small activity while he goes to fetch his damn hot Shield.

‘It feels like people are looking at me,’ Noctis says to himself, finding it a little peculiar. It’s not that he’s not used to seeing people gawking at him or trying to steal glances, but it’s as if the way he moves is what's attracting people to look at him rather than the reason being because he's the prince.

‘So that’s what the video means, walk the room like you own it. Like you hold the power to attract anyone you like,’ Noctis hums, turning another corner and passing another doorway. 

He enters a courtyard and before him lies a wall of thick, neatly-trimmed bushes; on the other side of those are the training grounds of the Glaives.

Nodding at a few Glaives who pass by - several frantically giving him a royal bow - Noctis hears a crowd of laughter not far from where he is. Stopping in his tracks, his ears perked, a familiar deep voice rumbles soon after from the other side of the wall. Pressing himself a little closer to the edge, he quietly listens to the conversation. 

“Man, Gladiolus. I’m honored to work with you for this coming mission!” a young voice says excitedly, no doubt a junior Glaive - yet another person impressed with Gladio, who seems close to all the Glaives regardless of their seniority.

“Please, just call me Gladio. Only my dad calls me that, Bartz,” Gladio implores nicely. There's a little more laughter and Noctis guesses there must be around six soldiers in the group, including Gladio. They're walking the length of the wall on the other side and come to a stop directly opposite to where Noctis is.

“Sorry, I still can’t help it!" the one called Bartz replies, his smile beaming through his words. "Wait, why don't we go out tonight? We haven’t done that in ages!”

“Ah sorry guys, I’ll pass this time,” Gladio says apologetically, and Noctis can imagine him rubbing the back of his neck as he does so. “I would love to go but… I have other arrangements.”

“ _Other arrangements?”_ a senior Glaive raises his voice teasingly. “Oh, you mean _that_ arrangement. Ahh, who’s the lucky girl this time, Gladio?”

“Seriously, you gotta bring that up here straight after the briefing, Feris?” Gladio sounds like he's trying to be annoyed, if not just embarrassed, probably raising an eyebrow as he crosses his arms. 

“Not sorry there, Gladio. We know how tight you are with the ladies,” Feris chuckles. “Still, it's a shame - we haven’t hung out for quite some time, not even just to eat. You've always got some royal duty or another keeping you busy.”

“Yeah, I know,” Gladio sighs in agreement. “All right, here's an idea… Let’s do an early dinner then. I’ll talk to Iggy about it. But after dinner, I’m bouncing off." The footsteps resume as Gladio and the group start to walk again, moving to leave the area. “Can't let you guys hold me up too long, as I'm not the type to leave my date waiting,” the smirk practically drips from Gladio's words.

“Then it’s a party!” Feris exclaims, laughing together with Gladio as they near the Glaive’s entryway and leave from Noct's earshot.

Noticing that no one’s passing by him, Noctis quickly warps near the Citadel’s entrance, running towards the inside. He leans on the wall for a quick second to take a deep breath, then digs his phone out from his pocket and speed dials Ignis.

In a clear voice, filled with authority, Noctis speaks without even a greeting, “Cancel all my meetings in the afternoon, Iggy. Make Gladio do errands, groceries, whatever - I don't care. Mission _Prince Wears Prada_ is a go tonight.”

Oh yeah, Gladio won’t be late for his date… Noctis will make sure of that, because _he’ll_ be the one there to sweep his Shield off his feet.


End file.
